Night Before Christmas for the Home-less

'Twas the night before Christmas on PlayStation Home,
Not a creature was stirring resembling a gnome;
A character was made with great pride and care,
Despite my distaste for the lack of choices on hair.
Error -603 tried to keep me away,
Still, I tried seven more times and was able to play.
To my studio apartment my character tracked,
And noticed I, then, the options I lacked;
All eight pieces of furniture were colored in white,
And wallpaper choices were dull or a disgusting sight;
I thought to myself as my hopes slowly died,
"Perhaps there will be more once I venture outside."

As I walked through the courtyard in search of some game,
I noticed the theater was calling my name.
The screen said it was downloading, so I found a seat,
In the front behind others who were still on their feet.
The men were all asking the woman for cyber sex,
Except the one dancing, who said, "show some respect."
I stood to go join him in frolic and fun,
And chose as my dance move the man on the run.
Once dancing grew dull, I returned to my rump,
As the download completed, screaming, "Hey! Down in front!"
When, what to my increasingly bored eyes should appear,
But a trailer for Twilight, not a film would play here.
I got to my feet and went out the door,
Thinking they could've at least picked a good movie to advertise for.

Then, I thought I should give the bowling alley a try,
Hoping soon I'd find something to keep me from waving goodbye.
The ten lanes were full at 4 players each,
And no one would leave no matter how I beseeched.
A single-player arcade in the two rooms nearby,
Featured bastardized versions of old games I would try.
I was finished quite soon with the ruined Echochrome,
And Ice Breaker was just Pong made to play on your own.
On my way out the door, I saw pool tables, as well,
But realized fast that this pool game was hell.

One more building remained that I hadn't yet seen,
So into the mall I went for the first time since age fourteen.
Here, I found a small assortment of things I could buy,
Using real money to decorate my apartment, but why?
I'd found nothing so far worth the time I had spent,
And that money is something I need to pay rent.
I could upgrade to a summer home or purchase clothes with money just the same,
But the question I'd asked with no answer still remained.

I finished exploring all there was to do,
And decided the thing we'd been waiting on for over a year; almost two,
Was one of the biggest disappointments of 2008,
Worthy of nothing more than sadness and hate.
I pressed the PS button and selected Quit,
Just after typing a message to any that could see it.
They heard me exclaim, ere I faded from sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and PlayStation Home sucks."